13 | Are You a People Pleaser? Learn the Surprising Reason Why It's Holding You Back
In this episode, host Cecilia Manella explores the topic of people-pleasing and how it can hinder our ability to express our needs in relationships. She discusses the origins of people-pleasing, its impact on our sense of self, and the importance of building authentic connections. Cecilia provides practical tips on breaking the pattern of people-pleasing and embracing vulnerability in order to foster deeper, more fulfilling relationships.
Key Takeaways:
- People-pleasing is an adaptive coping skill that can stem from childhood or develop in adulthood as a way to gain love, belonging, and approval.
- People-pleasing involves sacrificing one's own needs and desires to prioritize the needs of others, leading to a disconnection from oneself and a lack of boundaries.
- It is essential to acknowledge and accept that everyone has needs, both basic and complex, and to create space for them in relationships.
- Breaking the pattern of people-pleasing requires starting slow, being patient, and embracing vulnerability by sharing needs and desires, even if it feels uncomfortable or messy.
- Overthinking and striving for perfection are common pitfalls of people-pleasing, and it is important to let go of these tendencies and allow for imperfection in expressing needs.
- Trusting the other person in the relationship and understanding that they may not always be able to meet our needs without it being a rejection of our whole selves is crucial.
- Needs are not constant and evolve over time, so it is necessary to communicate and update them as they change, fostering emotional intimacy and authenticity in relationships.
Additional Resources:
Learn about a gratitude practice - Episode 1: Cultivating Gratitude
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